The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
He said... Do u love me just coz my father left me a fortune? She said... No stupid, I'd love u no matter who left you the money!
A father asks peon: How are the studies in this college? Where do I see my son in future? Peon: The future is bright, I had also completed my engineering from the same college
“Me sick, no work” Boss SMS back: “When I am sick I kiss my wife try it” 2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss: “Me ok, ur wife very sweet”
indian- i have 4 sister n 3 brothers what abt u? American-i hav no sis or no bro but i hav 4 moms frm 1st dad n 5 dads frm my 1st mom
JUDGE:WHY did U Shoot Ur Wife instead of shooting her LOVER?MAN:Ur Honour, it\'s Easier 2 Shoot a WOMAN once,than ----SHOOTING a Man Every Month
Boy- From the day I m ur friend, I m not able to eat, drink or smoke.Girl- how sweet, so u r madly in LOVE with me..!Boy- SHUT UP..!!, U made my pocket empty.
Doctor implants New Ear 2 a man Man: "U fraud,U gave me a woman's ear" Doc: It makes no difference Man: "It does,Now I hear everything but understand nothing"
A girl wearing very short skirt.A boy asks he Won't yr mom tell anythng abt yr dress?Girl replied: My mom will b very angry..bcoz I'm wearing her dress.
Dad:Why aren't you doing well in history?Pappu:Because the Teacher keeps on asking things that happened before my birth
Husband:You know,our son got his brain from me...............Wife:I think he did,I still got mine with me!!!
A boy goes to see a cabare dance.His mom gets angry & asks him:Did u see anything ther that u were not supposed to see?Boy:Yes,I saw DAD
Dad: if u Pass in the exam i will Present u 1 Cycle.Son: if i fail?Dad: i will Present 10 Cycle.Son: why?Dad: To Open Cycle Shop.
Teache Give An example to use neither-nor. Boy: When girls wear tight fittings, neither they are comfortable nor we are comfortable…
Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? TeacheLittle Johnny, MAY I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!
Man:I'm looking for a book-"How to control ur wife"...Salesman:Sorry, we Don't Sell Fiction
FATHEHow r ur grades, son?SON: Under water, Dad.FATHEUnder water? What do u mean?SON: They're below C level.
Teacher:I wish you would pay a little attention!Student:I'm paying as little as I can sir
Teacher:The best way to double the money in stock market!Student:Invest 4 times the money!!---
TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.WINNIE : Me!
Sir:G.Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now,kid, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"kid:Because George still had the axe in his hand.
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?SIMON : No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
Teacher:What was the first think Akbar did on ascending to the throne?Student:Well,he sat down
T'CHER:What do we do with crude oil?S'dent:Teach it some manners
Sir:Tom,wot wud happen if there is a3rd world war?Tom:Tht wud be terrible.Sir:Why?Tom:There wll be another chapter in our history book
Teen boy:Dad I want to be like Ghandhiji Dad:Good why not..!Boy:Thanx Dad so lets start with marriage as Gandhiji were married at age of 14
Why do u take your wife 2 night clubs only?Laloo-By the time she gets ready no othr place is open
First Lady-"If you dont love your husband why dont you divorce him???"2nd Lady-Oh I hate him so much that I dont want to see him haappy
Hus: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It is Without Information, Fighting Everytime! WIFE: No darling, its : With Idiot For Ever
Rampa: what is the cost of hair cut?BarbeRs 20Rampa: Then what is the cost of shaving?BarbeRs 10Rampa: Oh! Ok please Shave my head
Lady sitting on a park bench.Beggar:Hi darling.!shall v have some fun ?lady angrily:How dare U ?Beggar:Then What r U doin on my bed ?
Teacher:Draw A Diagram Of Bacteria Pappu:Here It Is Sir Teacher:Where? u Haven't Drawn Anything Pappu:Sir,Cn u See Bacteria Withot Microscop
College Joke of the year:Lecture"Ur head is full of cow dung.."Student: "Oh, that's why, u eat my head everyday."-
FathWhich r d 2 hardest things U learnt in College?Son: Opening Beer botles wth teeth & Lighting Cigarete wth only 1 Match Left In Heavy wind!
Teacher:2rrow thr ll b a lecture on D Sun.U must all attend Raju:I'll nt b able 2 mak it Sir.Teachr:y?Raju:Mom ll nt let me go so far
Man1: I do not want to marry bcoz I m afraid of woman.Man2: Get married soon, then u'll b afraid of only 1 woman n start loving other
What do u call if Bill Gate's mothr gets bored.?BEAT THISAny guess?MOTHERBOARD!Gud nite
Boy & girl in restaurant.Boy-i love U..Girl-i dont love U..Boy-think again?Girl-i told u NOBoy-waiter,bring seperate bills.Girl-i love u too..
Wife:Wherever we keep d money, our son steals it.I don't know what to do about itHus: Keep it in his ENGINEERING books. He'l never touch.
Teacher : Peter,why are you late for school again? PeteWell, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game went into extra time
Two Cockroach were Hospitalized for Injuries... 1st asked:How come here,BAYGON..? 2nd said:No Man,PARAGON..
Teache"Where is Himalaya?"Student: "Madam, I dont know."Teache"Dont know?? Stand on the desk."Student: "I still cant see.
Boy Asks A Girl: Can U Dance With Me. GIRL: I Dont Dance With a Child.. BOY: Sorry, I did not Know U were Pregnant.
Wife was teaching English Grammar to her husband. Wife- 'I am Beautiful.' Which tense is this? Husband- Past Tense.-
Elephant &Ant were walking on a bridgeThen D elephant lookd down 2the river Sudenly ant Bited D elephant.Why?Bcoz ants wife was bathing in D river.
History TeacheFrom where to where did the mughals rule?Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.
Mr.bean said to his GirlFriend"I luv u"& fell down. Again Told"I luv u"&fell down.Girl: y u r doing like this? Mr.bean: I am falling in love
MAchine inventd 2 CAtch Thieves IN UK,IT C Aught 50 theives in 30 Min SPAIN:IT CAught 110 in 1hr IndiA:In 15 Min MAchine was Stolen
An American couple had a black baby,The husband did not believe that it was his baby.H-Why is the baby black?Wife-U Hot,i Hot,Baby burnt.
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