A boy goes to see a cabare dance. His mom gets angry & asks him: Did u see anything there that u were not supposed to see?Boy: Yes, I saw dad.
What's the quietest place in the world? The complaint department at the parachute packing plant
"My grand father lived for 96 years. He never used glasses."
Sardar:" Ya.. I know.. Few people drink directly from bottle"
2 sardar soldiers captured a Pakistani soldier and gave him a dice and said, " If you get 1,2,3,4 or 5, we will kill you."
Paki:"What if I get 6?"
Sardar:"You'll have to play again."
Sardar got promotion in office as manager. To give surprise to his wife , he telephoned her & said
"Tonight u r going to sleep with the manager"
Sardar finds cigarette box in daughter's room. Oh my God!! she smokes
Then finds whisky, Oh my God!! she drinks
Then he saw a boy. Thank God!! Its all his
A sardarji joined a big MNC as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone,“Abey saale! Get me a coffee quickly!”
The voice from the other side responded,“You fool you’ve dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you’re talking to, dumbo?”
Man on phone
“No”, replied the trainee.
“It’s the Managing Director of the company, you fool!”
The sardarji shouted back, “And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?”
“No”, replied the Managing Director.
“Good!”, replied the sardarji and put down the phone!
Hum to nikle the apni tanhai se ladkar Mohabbat ki talash me... Baap re garmi bahut the gnnaa ka ras pikar aa gaye......
Meri lovely GF ke Shadi ka card mila bahut bura laga yaar, baad me soocha, shadi me jauga jarur kyoki love apne jagah hai aur Lazedar puri-sabji, pulao apni jahah
Ghadi Ghadi Selfie khichne wali ladkiyo ke mobile aab kuch kuch time ke baad khud hi bol padte hai- chalo muh banao baby selfie leni hai.... Baby-jara Lipstick aur Fair N lovely bhi laga le slefie cute aaygi.......
A father was teaching the spelling of word “ASSASSINATION” to his child. . He says: ek Gadha(ASS), uspar ek aur Gadha(ASS) jispar Mein(I), aur mujh par sara Desh(Nation)
How to reduce weight…?? . First turn your head to the right and then to the left. . .. ... .... ..... Repeat this one whenever you have given something to eat!
Ek aadmi apne aap me kehta hue ja raha tha ki aisi zindagi se toh maut aachi. Achanak Yamraj aa gaya aur bola “Tumhari jaan lene ka hukm hai” Aadmi : Lo batao, aab insaan jokes bhi nahi kar sakta hai kya?
** Attention ** ** Attention ** please..."Lifebuoy"Se Mat Nahaya karo, . . Suna hai Ye "keedo" ko Maarta Hai.. . . OR hum "Apko"KHONA Nahi Chahte.
Marketing Company ka call - "Hii I'm Mohit from Kolkata" Me- to main kya karu ? "Hi I'm Aakas from Pune" Me- to main kya karu ? "Hii I'm Riya from Delhi" Me- Hiiiiiiiiiii Riya.
Apple iPhone 6 launched in India at Rs. 53,500.00 mene papa ko kaha papa mughe iPhone 6 chiye. Papa ne kaha- beta etne me to 1 bike+5 months ka petrol aa jayega Mene moka pe choka mara - accha papa to wahe khrid do Papa Shocked but me Rock........
Titu ne Radio Mirchi call ki : Hello Radio Mirchi ? RJ : Yes Titu : Meri awaaz pura town sun raha hai ? RJ : Ji Haan. Titu : Yani ghar mein jo meri behan radio sunn rahi hai wo bhi sun rahi hogi.? RJ annoyed: yes bro yes.. Titu : Hello Tinaaa..! Agar meri aawaz sun rahi hai toh jaldi se motor chala de...! Main toilet mein hun aur paani khatam ho gaya hai...
Santa plane land hote hi chillane lga. Bnglore aya banglore aya.Balle Balle' Air Hostess: Helo sir.B silent Santa-ok anglore aya anglore aya alle alle.
Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ? Pappu: Amritsar. Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies. Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions. Teacher: Yes, go ahead. Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ? Teacher: No. Pappu: Do you know Preeto ? Teacher: No. Pappu: Do you know Banto? Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ? Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.
Hitler says, "There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary" Sardar says: Ab bolne se kya faayda? "Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na"
Gang of SARDARS broke a Bank. Instead of cash they found Botles full of Chilled Red Wine, Happily they drank & went away. Next day Headline aai: Blood Bank lutya gya.
Sardar was writing something very slowly. Friend asked:" Why r u writing so slowly? Sardar: "I'm writing 2 my 6 yr old son, he can't read very fast.
Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train. Friend: Y? Sardar: Got upper berth. Friend: Y did’nt u exhanged? Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 exchange in the lower birth..
Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many coins I have in my pocket? Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1? Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them
Sardar’s Friend: Yaar, Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House Read Santa Singh, B.A. This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A. When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree? Sardar: You Don’t Understand. Last Year My Wife Died, I Put B.A. To Indicate “Bachelor Again”. Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is “Married Again”.
Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth? A:Because his doctor advised him “Today’s dinner should be light”
The Bank sends sardar a mail written... 'Your payments are outstanding". Sardar replies 'Thanks for the compliment.
Sardar ke piche 1 kutta laga. Sardar bhagte huye sochne laga, Saala card to IDEA ka liya tha Phir network VODAFONE ka kaise aa raha hai..
Santa-'Maths vich fail kyu hoya? Banta: Teacher kendi hai 5+3=8 Agle din kendi 6+2=8 Fir kendi 4+4=8 . . Khud confused he menu kya padayegi..?
Sardar started a college, All students were confused @admission coz Name of d college is 'Sardar's Medical college of Engineering for commerce n arts.
Sardar-xpres kitne baje ki he? TT-1 baje Sardar-local? TT-9 bje Sardar-Maalgadi? TT-(Gusse se) 12 bje lekin tuje kaha jana he? Sardar-Patri cross KARNI he..
Smartst thing sardar ever did,
He changed all his passwords to 'Incorrect' so whenever he forgets,the computer will remind him,
1 sardar ko uska sasur jute mar raha tha, Admi: Q mar rahe ho? Sasur: Maine ise Hospital se SMS kiya,Tum Bap Ban Gye Ho Sale Ne Usko Bhi Dosto ko forwrd kar Diya,
Ek sardar ki NANO kharab ho gi-Bonet khola to shocked-engine hi nahi.
Dusra sardar apni NANO lekar aya or bola:koi gal nahi meri dikki me extra pada h tu le le..
Urine report gets exchanged.
Doctor: Sardarji you are pregnant,Angry Sardarji shouts at wife: Mene pehle kaha tha k muje upar rehne de..
Enjoy..
Train me ek sardar ka 50 rupiya kho gaya.
Tabi ek musalman Bola: ya allah Bismilla.
Sardar: abey saale ,20 milla to baki 30 kisko mila ?
Accident hua,Bahot bheed thi.. Santa ko dekhnr ka mauka nahi mil raha tha, . CLVER SANTA:- " Ye mera BAAP hai " Bheed pichhe hati to dekha kutta maraa tha..
2 6akke sardar ke Ghar Badhaai Dene Gaye, Haaye-Haaye,Hum to 1100 lenge 1100... Pi6e se Ek Sardar Bola 2610 lelo,Usme MP3 Ringtone Or FM Bhi Hain..
Techer 2 sardar: UR son is a Fool.. See his report.. Eng-02 Mat-05 Science-07 SST-08 Hindi-03 Total-25 Sardar-Total ne to kamal kia he.Is subject ki tuttion tak nahi rakhi thi.
Employee-Hello Boss mughe terrorist ne pakad liya hai dono hath kaat diye, 1 aakh phor de, kidney nikal liya Boss-dekh le ho sake to aa ja yaar aaj Audit hai....
Zamane ke dar se teri tasweer toilet mein chupai rakhi hai! Deedar ho tera bar bar isliye julab ki goli kha rakhi hai......
Tamil guy takes his girlfriend on a dinner date.
Guy: My dinner treat! Come to Babu Ganeshan.
Girl Friend: Come to what?
Guy: Babu Ganeshan, I say.
Girl Friend: I don't know this place. I'll come to your house & you take me there.
Guy: You don't know Babu Ganeshan? Wokay, I'll take you there.
Girl Friend and Guy both reach Babu Ganeshan.
Girl Friend: Damn you idiot!!! 😡 It's pronounced as "Barbeque Nation...!"
I called an old school friend and asked what he was doing now. He replied that he was currently working on:
Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment
I was impressed......
On further enquiry, I learnt that he was washing dishes, with hot water... under his wife's supervision.
...the beauty of English
ways to burn 100 calories:
1. Walking - 45 mins 2. Jogging/ Running - 16 mins 3. Swimming - 17h mins 4. Climbing Stairs - 16 mins 5. Tennis - 14 mins
NOTE : People who can't do all the above mentioned exercises,
Arguing with your wife for 5 mins is equally effective!😂
😭 Work Pressure..
Husband continuously on business calls, brings the child home from school and tells his wife, "He has been crying all the way home. Is he sick or something?"
"No", replies the wife. "He was trying to tell you that he is not our son."
😇😝
Suresh changed the subject to "Happy birthday Kalpesh "
😂😂😂😂😝😝😝 Suresh changed the subject to "Haramkhor kalpesh"
Dombivili / Mumbai Chronicles
Yesterday I was sitting in a train. A man standing on my left side played the national anthem on his mobile.
I stood up and he sat on my seat....
Whenever i find a female driver in front of me.. I don't know why i get Chak De India type feeling......... Isne left ka indicator diya hai.... Ye left maregi.... Par nahi iska face to right ki taraf hai... Ye right maregi... Par isne to beech raste me lipstick nikal li hai... Yaaa khuda ye to break maregi!!! 😂😂😂
Hyderabadi humour
Unne Cycle chalate chalate pairan dard hore bol ke bike liya..
Bike chalane se kammar me dard hora bol ke car liya..
Car chalane se pet nikal gaya bol ke gym join kara...
Ab gym me Cycle icch chalaraa !!😂😜😛😝
Announcement in a SCHOOL
"Students who've Parked their cycles in front of d Gate, Plz move their cycles to the Parking area !!"
After 30 mins another announcement: "The 400 students who went to move 10 cycles plz come back to classes!"
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