Funny Shayari Hindi : Jokes & New Punchlines

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Haath mein taaqat hai,

toh tajmahal ko hila kar dekh..

Warna aa baith ke do peg whiskey maar,

aur tajmahal ko hilta hua dekh..!!

Usne jo sher mara tow wah wah ho gayi..

Usne jo sher mara tow wah wah ho gayi..

Aur Maine jo sher mara toh..

toh

toh

Sherni widwa ho gayi..!!

Ek khawab ek khayal ek hakikat hai tu,

zindgi mein pane wali har zarurat hai tu,

jisko roz msg karne ko dil kare

are yaar vahi sweet si musibat hai tu.

Arz Kia Hai:

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Bhai Wah Wah

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Zara si tawajja plz

Bhai petrol dalo to gari chalti hai,

Kya irshaad farmaya hai,

Petrol dalo to gari chalti hai

Nahi dalo to nahi chalti hai.

Har khwab humesha sacha nahi hota,

bohot zyada pyaar bhi acha nahi hota,

kisi ko kam na samajna is duniya mein dost,

kyu ki har dudh peene wala bachcha nahi hota.

Wo aaj bhi is garmi mein mar rahi hai.

e-dosto

Jo maine use ek baar keh diya tha..

Tum is sweater mein katrina kaif lag rahi ho.

Arz kya hai:

Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi,

ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi,

aur

phool khilne se pahle bakri kha gayi.

Ishq ne insaan ko kya se kya bana diya,

kisi ko kavi kisi ko katil bana diya,

do phool ka bozh na utha sakti thi MUMTAZ,

aur SHAHJAHAN ne uspe TAZ MAHAL bana diya.

Bahut sweet hai woh jise hum chahte hai,

Har pal khuda se usiko mangte hai,

Dil tarasta hai use Pane ko,

Kya Aap ka dil nahi karta..

DAIRY-MILK Khane ko?

Ashiqko ka Dimag hota hai khali,

Tabhi milti nahi garwali,

Gulam ban ke fas jate hai,

Ishq ke jaal mein,

Our kehte hai Mene Ladki Patali.

Musibat ka syrup ho tum,

Aafat ka Injection ho tum,

Tension ka capsule ho tum,

Par kya kare jhelna padta hai tumhe kyun ki..

Dosti ka OXYGEN ho tum

Fida hu uski chaal pe,

Uske bolne ki taal pe,

Chahe tamacha lage gaal pe,

par

Bol deta hu sare jahan se..

Nazar mat daalna meri maal pe.

SHAYARI OF A THIEF!

Mobile night plans ne to humein bhuka maar diya hai

Dosto

Jis ghar mein chori ke liye jao koi na koi aashiq jag raha hota hai!

Umar kya kahu kaafi nadan hai meri,

Has ke milna pehchan hai meri,

Apka Dil zakhmo se bhara ho to mujhe fone kiziye,

DILO ko Repair karne ki dukaan hai meri..

Zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,

wah wah..

zor se chali hawa udd gaye aap,

phir..

phir kya

Ruk gayi hawa aur gir gaye aap.

Ha..Ha..Ha

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota.

Tajmahal ko dekh kar bola shahjahan ka pota.

Aaj hamara bhi bank balance hota,

Agar DADA Aashiq na hota!

Pyar kabhi na karna pardesi se,

Rote-Rote naina thak jayenge,

Pyar karna ho to karo hamesha padosi se,

Roz balcony se darshan to ho jayenge..

Baharo ful barsao mera dost aaya hai,

hotho pe muskan gali me mahak laya hai,

barso tak thi jise pani se allergy...

wo aaj lux se nahaya hai!

Zindgi mein sada muskurate raho,

fasle kam karo dil milate raho,

dard kesa bhi ho koi gham na karo,

iodex khrido aur lagate raho.

Baagon mein phool khilte rahenge,

raat mein deepak jalte rahenge,

khudaa aapko saari khushiyaan de,

baaki takleef to hum dete hi rahenge.

Pucha mujh se chand sitaro ne

Tujhe bhula diya tere jigri yaaro ne

Maine muskurate hue kaha

Bhul to nahi sakte kamine

Bas lage honge kisi ko patane mein.

Dil mein khuda hai,

Ankho mein nasha hai,

Bato mein maza hai,

Chahat mein ada hai,

Andaz bhi juda hai,

Dosti mein wafa hai,

Arey yaar.. Isiliye to sari

duniya HUM par fida hai.

Jalte hue deepo ki tarah jagmagate rahna,

hamari dua hai sada muskrate rahna,

kitni bhi chappalen pade tumhe e mere bhai,

zindgi bhar aap ladkiya patate rahna.

Phone ke rishte bhi kitne ajib hote hai,

Balance rakh ke bhi log garib hote hai,

Msgs karne ki taqlif hoti nahi unse,

Khud muft msg padne ke kitne shoukin hote hai.

Khamosh plkon se ansu chalak aate hai,

Aap kya jane aap kitne yaad ate hai,

Aaj bhi usi wineshop pe tanha khade hai,

Jaha apne kha tha: “Ruko hum abi half leke ate hai”

Aisi WANI boliye ki jamkar JHAGDA hoye,

Gour farmaye..!

Aisi wani boliye ki jamkar JHAGDA hoye,

Par usse na boliye jo aap se TAGDA hoye!

Bekar ki Zindgi hum jiya nahi karte,

Expire honewali Dosti hum kiya nahi karte..

Mere SMS aapko Lifetime tak milenge,

Kyuki reply ki chinta hum kiya nahi karte.

Kabhi-2 Mere Dil Me Khayal Aata Hai..!

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Kya Hua.. Khayal Dhundh Rahe Ho?

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Arrey Yaar Kaha Na Kabhi-2 Aata Hai.

Aaj Nahi Aaya.

Chuhe ne kiya sherni ko prapose,

Gift diya usne red rose,

Sherni ne kaha surat aine me dekh,

Chuha bola surat pe mat ja pagli,

Confidence to dekh.

Na waqt hai itna ki syllabus pura ho jae,

Na tarkib koi asi ki exam pass kia jae,

1 esa dard dia hai is PADHAI ne yaro,

Na khul kr Roya jae.. Na Jam kr Soya jae

Milna bichadna sab kismat ka khel hai,

Kahi nafrat kahi dilo ka mel hai,

Bik jata hai har rishta dunia mein,

Sirf dosti hi..

NOT FOR SALE HAI

Umeedo ki manjil toot gayi,

aankho se ashqo ki dhara beh gayi,

are tumahri bhi kya izaat reh gayi,

jab class ki ladki bhaiya keh gayi.

Socha tha har modd pe tmhara intezar krenge,

socha tha har modd pe tmhara intezar krenge,

kambkhat sali sadak hi seedhi nikli

Awara larkon se achche to gali ke kutte hain!!

e-Dost

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Kam se kam larki palat palat ke dekhti to hai

kk

aa raha hai ya nahi!!

Bhehar Ki Gali Main Paan

Ki Dukan

Devdas Ne Dekhi Paro Ki

Muskan

Devdas Ne Khilaya Paro

Ko Paan

Khake Paan Paro Boli

Shukriya Bhai Jan.

Ek ladki thi deewani si

Mobile lekar chalti thi

Nazrain jhuka ke.. Sharma ke

Mobile mein jaane kya dekha karti thi!

Kuchh karna tha shaayad usko

Par jaane kis se darti thi

Jab bhi milti thi mujhse

Yehi poochha karti thi

Yeh ON kaise hota hai

Yeh ON kaise hota hai

aur main sirf yehi kehta tha

ABE ye mobile nahi TV ka remote hai..

Na jane riste kaise kaise ho gaye,

Aaj hum apke liye aise waise ho gaye,

Agar ab bhi na aaye apke sms to,

Hum samjhenge k hum se pyare 50 paise ho gaye.

Gazal By Indian AAM AADMI

Yeh Anna hazare be le lo

Yeh Lokpall be le lo

Bhale cheen lo Hum se Bipasha Basu

Magar Hum Ko Lauta do

Woh Kimti Purani

Woh Atta

Woh Gas

Woh Bijli

Woh Pani

Badi Meharbaani…!

Badi Meharbaani…!

Door se dekha toh ek sher tha..

Door se dekha toh ek sher tha..

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isliye paas gaya hii nahi ..!!

Hasrat-e-deedar ki khatir uski gali mein

mobile recharge ki dukaan khol li ..

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Par yaha to Roz hi 1 naya shakhs

uske no. pe recharge karwa jata hai!!

Haar se pehle mai umeed kyu chhodu..!

Wah Wah

Haar se pehle mai umeed kyu chhodu..!

Daya bola..

“Payment sabko milti hai,

Darwaza hamesha mai hi kyu Todu”

Nazar mili jab wo akeli thi,

Dosti hui tab sath saheli thi,

Pyar hua to vo paheli thi,

2sre ke sath bhag gai tab pata chala..

Wo us area ki CHIKNI CHAMELI thi.

Dil ke arman aansuo mein bah gaye..

Hum gali me the gali mein hi reh gaye..

Light chali gayi thi… to

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Jo baat unse kehni thi wo unsi mummy se keh gaye!

Mood mood kar na dekh mujhe..

Yun hanste hanste..

Mere dost he bade hoshiyaar,

Keh denge BHABHI ji namaste.

Pagal hai wo log jo pyar mein kisi ko miss karte hain,

Karna hai to macharoun ko miss karo..

Jo jaan hateli par rakhkar aap ko kiss karte hain!

Phool girte hai jab aap aate ho..

Phool girte hai jab aap aate ho..

Aji zara dekh ke chala karo janu..

Kyo mere gamlo se takrate ho.

Likho to paigam kuch aise likhna

ke qalam bhi rone par majboor ho jaaye

har lafz me wo dard bhar do..

ke padne wala disprin kha ke so jaaye

FRIEND is Asian paints jo Duniya badal de.

GIRL FRIEND is Everest masala jo Taste mein best.

WIFE is Mosquito coil jo kone se dhund ke mare!

Wo meri kismat meri takdeer ho gaye,

Wo meri kismat meri takdeer ho gaye,

Hamne unki yaad mein khat itne likhe ki,

Ki

Wo khato ko bechkar hi ameer ho gaye.

Pagal aashiq ho jaate hain pyaar mei,

Baaki kasar poori ho jaati hain intezaar mei,

Magar yeh fauzi dilruba nahi samajhti,

Gol-gappe khaati phirti hain baazar mei!

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