Funny Shayari in Hindi : Jokes & New Shayari Collection

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Arz hai-

Roz roz weight napkar kya karna hai,

ek din to sabne marna hai

char din ki h zindagi,

kha lo jee bhar ke,

Agle janam to phir 3 kilo se hi start karna hai.

When U Breathe, U Respire.

Wah wah

When U Breathe, U Respire !

Wah wah kya baat hai

When u Don’t Breathe, U Expire.

Subhanallah.. Maar hi daala..!!

Tumhari lovely aankho ne,

Hame aise attract kiya,

Ke sabko neglect karke,

Tumhe hi select kiya.

Killer shayaris..

Using ur brain is strictly & very strictly prohibited..

1) Na jaan Na pehchaan, Tu mera mehmaan,

And the award goes to A.R.Rehman

2) Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,

Kisiko na thi mere pyar ki khabar,

Diagram galat ho gaya, Rubber de Rubber

3) Teri adao pe mein waari waari,

Dial 139 for railway enquiry…

4) Na jine ki aarzu na marne ka khauf,

The number you are trying is currently switched off..

5) Apne gamo ko bas dil me daba lo,

Naya godrej powder hair dye,

Bas kaato gholo aur laga lo..

6) Yuh khamosh reh kar tadpogi kabtak,

Cameraman praful ke saath deepak chaurasia AAJ TAK ..

7) Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,

Mehngai ke is daur mein karna padta hai apne kharche par kabooo,

Ek chutki sindoor ki kimat tum kya jano Ramesh Babu..

8) Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,

Mein hoon yahan Tu hai wahan,

LIFEBUOY hai jahan Tandurusti hai wahan..

9) Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,

Blood donate karne se pehle hamesha uska group janchna,

BASANTI in kutton ke samne mat nachna..

10) Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,

Yashomati Maiyya Se Bole Nandlala,

Tata Sky Laga Daala To Life Jhingalala..!!

11) Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,

Romeo ne Juliet se kaha ek sach,

Asali Masale Sach Sach MDH.. MDH..!!

12) Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,

Aatma Chhod Gayi Shareer Puraana,

Didi Tera Devar Deewana..

13) Naach Bulbul Naach, tujhe paisa milega

Hum CID se hai, Koi apne jagah se nahi hilega…!!

Har Gali Phulo Se Saja Rakhi Hai,

Har Chok Par Ladkiya Bitha Rakhi Hai,

Jane Kis Gali Se Guzrenge Aap,

Har Ladki Ke Hath Me Rakhi Thama Rakhi hai..

Happy Raksha Bandhan.

Badi muddat baad

Aaj phone par uski awaz suni toh..

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Dil ne dhadakte hue kaha..

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Jaldi yaad kar kamine kaunsi wali hai..!!!

Girlfriend ko apni palko par bitha lo,

De ke khushi uske sare gum chura lo,

Pyar karo uski saheli ke samne itna ki

Uski saheli bhi aa ke kahe JANU..

muje bhi pata lo.. Muje bhi pata lo..

Ghalib VS Sindhi

Ghalib:

Mohhobat ke Raasto pe sirf Dard Milega,

(Gaur farmaiyega)

Mohabbat ke Raasto pe sirf Dard Milega.

Sindhi:

wadi sai! Unnhi Raasto pe BAR Kholo.

Jhulelaal ki kasam, Bahut Chalenga..

A new version of the famous lines from SILSILA Movie:

Main aur Meri Tanhaai aksar yeh Baate karte hain,

Tum hoti to aisa hota, Tum hoti to waisa hota,

AUR TUM na hoti to PAISA hota.

Dont laugh alone please pass it on..

Na ishq kar mere yaar

yeh ladkiya bahut satati hai,

na karna in par aitbaar

yah kharcha bahut karwati hai,

recharge tum karwa ke dete ho

aur number mera lagati hai.

Gujrati sher:

NAZAR se NAZAR mile to pucho kem che?

NAZAR jhuki or hase to samzo k prem che.

Jo SANDAL utare to samzo k aa chokri to apni ben che.!!

Pani dekh pyaas lagti hai,

shadi dekh kar hume bhi aas dikhti hai,

Hum logo kaise samjhaye..

ki har zakkas ladki ki ‘MAA’ hume apni ‘SAAS’ lagti hai.

Waqt ke Tufan me bikharte chale gaye,

Tanhai ki gehrai me utarte chale gye,

Jannat thi har subah sham jin dosto ke sath,

Ek ek kar ke sab bichhadte chale gaye…

Thanks to whatsup.. Sab wapis mil gaye.

Pyaar hume kis mod pe le aaya..

Itni der se khade hai,

koi auto nahi aaya..

Lo G mera ek Sher arz hai,

Idhar B sitam ho gaya

Udher B sitam ho gaya

Message Delete kardo, sher khatam ho gaya.

Ho rahi hai baarish..

Lag rahi hai thand..

Ho rahi hai barish..

Lag rahi hai thand

tan tana tan tan.. tan tana tan tan.

Poem on ‘TAJMAHAL’ by 3 diff. People.

BACHELOR:

Taqdir hai magar kismat nhi khulti,

Taj Mahal banana chahta hu,

Magar Mumtaz nhi MILTI.

LOVER:

Taqdir hai mgar kismt nhi khulti,

Mumtaz milgai hai,

Magar shadi nhi KARTI.

MARRIED:

Taqdir hai magar kismat nhi khulti,

Taj Mahal banana chahta hu,

Magar Mumtaz nhi MARTI.

Mohabat karne wale ko inqar achha nahi lagata ,

Duniya walo ko iqrar achha nahi lagata ,

Jab tak ladaka ladaki bhag na jaye,

Gharwalo ko pyar sachha nahi lagata..

Aye chand taro zara inko ek hath maro,

Bister se inko niche utaro,

Karo in ke sath ab tum fight,

Kyu ke ye so rahe the bina kahe.. GOOD NIGHT 😀

Aankho mein nami thi,

Aur vitamin ki kami thi..

Wah.. Wah..

Jis se raat-bhar chatting ki

Woh Girl-friend ki mummy thi..

Baith kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya..

Wah!!

Wah!!

Wah!!

Wah!!

Baith kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh aaya…

Phirrrrr…?

Phir kya!

Biwi ne dekh liya aur ICU me hosh aaya..

Ha Ha Ha…

Arz kia hai..

Ye auratein badi chaalaak hoti hai,

Ye auratein badi chaalaak hoti hai,

Apni profile pic mai akeli..

Aur pati ki profile pic mai saath hoti hai.

Hum aise aashik hain jo gulab ko kamal bana denge,

Uski har adaa par ghazal bana denge,

Agar wo aa jayegi meri zindagi me,

To lalu ki kasam Bihar me bhi Tajmahal bana denge.

Kisi shayar ne kaha tha ki,

mahbub tere pyar me,

tadpana aacha lagta hai.

tujse milne ki khawaish me,

bichudna aacha lagta hai..

kasam tere pyar ki,

jab dur hu tujse..to

tuje yad karna aachha lagta hai..

par hame to..

RAJAI me jane se pahle..

thund se KAMPANA..

aacha lagta hai.

Muqadar main raat ki nend nahi to kya hua…

Hum bhi muqadr ko dhoka de kar din ko so jatay hain..

(‘,’)/ Oh my God

<) ( I am SO INTELLIGENT NA _/ \_ Text
Demo Text

Zamin par wo mera naam likhte hai aur mitate hai.

Unka to timepass ho jata hai….

Kambhakt mitti mein hum mil jate hai.

Har doori mitani padhti hai,

har baat btani padhti hai,

lagta hai dosto ke pass waqt hi nahi hai,

aaj kal

khud apni yaad dilaani padhti hai.

Arz Hai..

Kapde Silvane Ho To Dhund Lo Darji..

Wah Wah..

Ershad-Ershad..

Ki Kapde Silvane Ho To Dhund Lo Darji..

aur

Nangu pungu Ghumna Ho To, Aapki Marji!

Phone ke rishte bhi ajib hote hai.

Balance rakhkar bhi log garib hote hai

Khud to msg karte nahi hai,

Muft ke msg padhne ke kitne shauqin hote hai.

India ki reet-ladki agar apni marzi se patjaye to pyar,

agar dost pata de to uphar,

agar gharwale le aaye to sanskar,

aur agar khud pata kar ghar leaao to hahakar.

Bhaiyo aur Only Bhaiyo,

Nind Nahi Aati Mujhe Tab Se,

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Mujhe Nind Nahi Aati Tab Se,

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5 Rupye Khoyehai Jab Se..

Har barish mein yahi dua hai hamari ki

Barish ke jitne qatre zamin par gire,

Utni baar aap slip ho ke gire,

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Khushiyo ke samundar mein.

Na jane wo hmse kya chhupati thi,

Kuch tha uske hotho pe,

Mgar na jane kyu shrmati thi,

jab muh khulwaya to pta chala,

Saali kutti R.M.D. Khati thi.

Aapki bato pe dil haru

WAH! WAH!

Aapki surat pe jan waru

WAH! WAH!

Jis din nahi aata aap ka sms

dil karta hai aapko

patak-patak ke maru!

Teri khamoshi aur

udasi ki wajah hum samajh na sake ae dost,

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Wo to shaam ko teri mummy ne bataya

ke aaj teri chappal se pitai hui hai!!

Yu to muhabbat ki haqeeqat se hum khoob waqif the,

Dosto..

Par pata nahi kyu unko dekha to,,

zara sa shauk hua Zindagi Barbaad karne ka..!!

Jab dekha unhone tirchi nazar se,

Kasam khuda ki madhosh ho gaye hum,

Par jab pata chala nazar parmanant tirchi hai,

To wahi khade-khade behosh ho gaye hum.

CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye toh PAAON mein nahi aati

Wah-Wah

CHAPPAL chhoti ho jaye to PAAON mein nahi aati

Aur GIRLFRND moti ho jaye to BAHON mein nahi aati!

Phone mat kiya karo Dear,

Mom hoti hai near,

Papa se lagta hai fear

Baat bhi hoti nahi clear,

Isliye SMS karo Dear,

Without fear & very clear..

Dosti agar buri hai to hone mat do,

Ho gai to use khone mat do,

Aur agar dost ho sabse pyara to

us dost ko chain ki neend sone mat do.

Hamne tumse pyar kiya abla samaj kar,

Tere baap ne mujhe pita tabla samaj kar,

Maine tumse pyar kiya durga samaj kar,

Tere bhaiyo ne mujhe kaata murga samaj kar.

Aankho se aansuo ki judaai kar do,

Dil se ghamo ki vidaai kar do,

Agar dil na lagey kahin tow,

Aa jaao mere ghar ki SAFAAi kar do..!!

Aapki smile ne saara jahan hila diya..

Aapki smile ne saara jahan hila diya..

Koma say jagey mareez ko permanent sula diya..!!

Good night..

Arz Kiya Hai..

Udhar aap majabur baithey hain

Idhar hum khamosh baithey hain..

Baat ho to kaise ho janab..

Jab dono taraf do kanjus baithey hain..!!

Student Shayari:

Aasma mein kaali ghata chai hai,

Aaj fir principal se mar khai hai,

Sab kehte hai sudhar ja,

Kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban ke aayi hai.

Arz Kiya hai..

Dil hai sachha aur dimaag hai Kachha,

Wah wah..

Dil hai sachha aur dimaag hai Kachha,

Wah wah..

Tere msgs nahi aa rahe kya baat hai Bachha..!!

Har safar mein aapka saath hum denge,

Apne pyar ki saugat hum denge,

Girne lage to hath hum denge,

aur

Na bhi gire to..

EK LAAT HUM DENGE.

Rainbow mein colour hota hai violet

wah wah!!

wah wah!!

Rainbow mein colour hota hai violet

Mam may i go to toilet.

Teri dosti mein diwane ho gaye,

Tujhe apna banate-banate khud se begane ho gaye,

Pukar le pyar se ek baar mere dost,

Murgae ki aawaz sun ke zamane ho gaye.

Arz Hai

Cham cham karti chandni,

tim tim karte taare

Cham cham karti chandni,

tim tim karte taare

Koi bhi sms nahi karte,

Besharam ho gaye saare..!!

Good Night

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