Lady Teacher ne ‘MY TEACHER’ par 10 lines likhne ko kaha. Thodi der bad golu ne uthkar pucha: . . . . . . Madam, ‘MAST CHHAMIYA’ ko english me kya kahte hain..?
Group study is the best way…
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To ensure that none of your friends have studied either.
Me: Darr lag raha hai, kuch nahi aa raha Friend: Yeh le Mountain Dew pee Me *drinks 2 bottles* Friend: Ab kuch aaya? Me: Haan susu!!
Hum Sirf Ye Soch Kar Apni Answer Sheet Khaali Chhod Aate Hain Ke Kahi Teachers Ye Na Kahein, . . . . . . . . . . ‘Dekho Aaj Ke Bacche Bado Ko Jawaab Dete Hain’
Sanskar You Know..!!
Attitude Statement of Student In Exam
I got 150 Questions in exam saying to solve any 100..!!!
I Solved All 150 and wrote – CHECK ANY 100!!!
Pappu: Mam aap meri ek sabal ka jabab dengi..
Mam: ha ha puchho..
Pappu: ek line me 3 chitiyan chal rhi thi, bich bali chiti bolti hai.. mere aage v 2 chiti or mere pichhe v 2 chiti.. to aap btaeye kul kitne chiti the!
Mam: 5 Pappu: galat.
Mam: 6 Pappu: phir v galat.
Mam: 7 Pappu:- ye v galat.
Mam (Harker): to tmhi btao.
Pappu: hai to 3 hi chiti, vo bich bali hai na jhuth bol rahi thi.
Teacher: Ganga, yamuna, Kaveri, Krishna, Bharat ki nadiyo ke naam hai to Pakistan ki nadiyo ke naam batao??
Height of attempting unknown question in an exam..
Question: What is an Array, Explain with example.
Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.
For example..
ARRAY o RAMESHYA idhar aa.
Teacher: Oxygen is must for Breathing. It was discovered in 1773. Santa: Thank God I was born after that. Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata.
Santa: Agar Nariyal Ke Ped Pe Chad Jaun To.. Engineering College Ki Ladkiyan Dikh Jayegi.
Banta: Phir Hath Chhod Dena, To Medical College Ki Bhi Dikh Jayegi.
Ek 5th class ka bacha Bill Gates ko letter likhta hai Sir, Mujhe kuch sawal poochne hai
1. Keyboard ke letters sahi jagah nahi hai, Keyboard ka sahi Version kab ayega..??
2. Windows Main START ka button hai, STOP ka nahi!!
3. Hum Ms-Word use karte hain, Mr-Word kab Release hoga..??
4. Keyboard main ANY KEY ka button Nahi to computer kyun maangta hai..??
Aakhir main ek personal Sawal
5. Aap ka naam GATES hai to aap WINDOWS kyun banate hai..??
Commerce shayari.. Tere dosti mein mujhe hogaya hai fever, Tere dosti mein mujhe hogaya hai fever, DEBIT the receiver, CREDIT the giver!!
Commerce ke Student Agar Film Banaye to Filmo ke Naam Kya Honge- 1. Kabhi debit kabhi credit. 2. Hum accounts ke diwane hai. 3. Hum profit pe marte hai. 4. Hum tax de chuke sanam. 5. Hamara calculator aapke paas hai. 6. C.A. kia to darna kya. 7. Commerce se accha kon hai. 8. I Hate Mathematics. 9. Rab ne miladi balance shit.
Boy: Papa, maine engineering chhod di..!!
Papa: Kyu ?
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Boy : Kick nahi mili..
*-Kick Received-*
After watching KICK
Student: Mere attendance ke baare me zyaada mat sochna ‘Main college me aata hoon, Lecture main nahi..’
Teacher (baccha se): Agar ek nimbu ka ped samundar ke beach me hai to tum usme se nimbu kaisa todoge? Baccha: Me chidiya ban kar jaunga aur tod ke launga Teacher: Tumko chidiya kya tumhara bap banayega Baccha: to samundar ke beach nimbu ka ped kya tumhara bap lagayega.
Grammar Teacher: Iss muhaavre ka udaahran do
‘Begaani shaadi mein Abdullah deewana’
Chantu: Hindustaaniyon ka raat bhar jaag kar Fifa World Cup dekhna!
Geography Teacher: Agar koi chota planet prithvi se takraye toh kya hoga?
Student: to ‘Tadang’ jaisa aavaj aayega. Sir gusse se: Kyu ?? Student: Ye Duniya, Ye Duniya Pittal di.
Iss baar Santa ne Physics ko hila daala..
All scientists failed to answer this..
Ques: Which liquid turns into solid on heating? . . . . . . . Santa: Besan ke pakode!!
Papu admission lene college gaya..
Principle: Main tum se 1 Mushkil sawal puchun ya 10 Asaan..??
Papu: 1 mushkil sawaal.
Principle: Batao Din pehle aata hai ya Raat..??
Papu: Din..
Principle: wo kaise.. ??
Papu: Sorry sir ye Aap ne Dusra sawal puch liya..
Ek sachchi ghatna jise sochkar insaan ki rooh tak kaanp jaaye,
Lekin zaalimo ke haanth tak bhi nahi kaanpe ye sab paap karte huye.
Indore ki ek 17 Saal ki LADKI, Jisne abhi-abhi 12th pass ki thi, Aur Abhi jo din uske enjoy karne ke the.
Uske Sage MAMA ne behlaa fuslaa kar, Uska . . . . . . ENGINEERING ka form bharwa diyaa.
Ek student roz-roz Maths ke teacher ko phone lagata..
Teacher’s wife: kitni baar bataya, ke woh mar chuke hai..
Fir baar baar phone kyu karte ho..??
Student: Sun ke accha lagta hai.
Exam me fail hone ki wajah kya di hain, aaj k honhaar students ne ?? 1 saal ke 365 din hote hai.. Roz 8 ghante sone ke Yani pure saal ke 122 din 365-122=243 aur summer vacation gino 61 din.. 243-61=182 din Usme 52 sunday.. 182-52=130 din.. Diwali – holi etc.. Festival ke 40.. College festival 15 din [40+15=55] 130-55=75 din. Khane pine nahane ke 3 ghante ke hisab se 46 din.. 75-46=29 din. Roj ke 1 ghante dosto ke.. Uske 15 din.. 29-15=14 din.. Ab hum 10 din to bimar bhi rahte hai.. 14-10=4 din bache.. T.V dekhne ke 3 din.. 4-3=1 din bacha Yaar 1 saal me 1 din hi to birthday aata hai Ab birth day ke din kon padhe yaar..??. Parent’s shocked Student’s rocked..
SINGHAM Effect:- Dad: Result kya aaya? Boy: Aai chhya gaavat, fail ho gaya. Dad: Besharam! Nalayak. Boy: Kuch bhi karne ka, Mera ego hurt nahi karne ka. Dad: Aaj se teri pocket money bandh. Boy: Meri jaroorat kam hai, Isi liye meri zameer me dum hai. Dad: Get out. Boy: Aata maaji satakli re. Dad: Mujhe ab papa mat kehna. . . Boy: Ae Gotya.. Gotya.. Gotya
Sir: Kaunsa Panchi sabse Tez udta hai? Papu: Hathi Sir: Nalayak, Tera Baap kya karta hai..? Papu: Chota Rajan ke Gang me shooter hai. Sir: Shabashhhh.. Hathi sahi jawab hai.
Teacher:- ‘Bahut tez barish ho rahi hai’
Iske aage ka sentence btao.. Student: Ab light wale bijli gul karne wale hai.....
Hum roz message kyu bhejte hai? Masti? NO
Timepass? NO
Hum message bhejte hai taki aapki reading capacity strong ho. padhega INDIA, tabhi to badhega INDIA..!
IN 2018
Bhikari: Bhagwan ke naam pe kuch de de. Engineer: Ye le meri B.Tech ki degree rakh le.
Bhikari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.Tech ki rakh le.
Teacher to student: Write a short note on MATHS! Student: When maths was 13 yrs old, he created his first gf n loved her a lot.. but, One day when he broke up with her, she ran away & never came back. Maths was very worried about her & from that day he had given all of us.. the task to find his ‘x’.
If u ever start missing Ur college days, Ur class, Ur friend circle, Canteen or anything about college life..
Just open ur mark-sheets Sara nasha utar jaega.
Teacher: kisi aisi jagha ka name batao jaha.. bhut sare log ho phir bhi aap akely feel karty ho.. . . . . . . . . . . Student: Examination hall..
After Result.. Girls Reaction. Girl1 (Rote Huve): phir se sirf 91%. Girl2 (Bahot Rote huve): 2 baar revise karne ke Baad Bhi sirf 93% kaisa Aa sakte hai Number ?? Girl3 (Bahot Jada Rote huve): Main mummy ko kya Mu Dikhaungi In 92% Number ke saath. Girl4 (Bahot Bahot Jada Rote huve): Sirf 94%?? kahan kami rah gayi?
After Result… Boys Reaction. Boy1: Tere bhai ne fod diya hai be is baar.. poore 44% hain.. ha ha ha Boy2: Papa to Naach Uthenge Jab Unhe Pata Chalega ki mai pass ho gaya by grace. hahahahaha :-) Boy3: Wo to sir ne Copy karne di jo 41 % aa gaye … warna To band bajj gaya tha. Boy4: Main to baal baal bacha .. Border pe pass ho gaya pure 35% aaye hai na 1 mark jada na 1 mark kam, paper check karne wala devta tha Devta.. _/\_
Abhi parents ko sochna padega ki.. baccheko chai ki dukan pe bhejke modi banana hai ya..
IIT me bhejke kejriwal.
Jo student top kare wo.. ‘Student Of The Year’ aur jo student fail ho jaye wo.. ‘Student Of The Next Year’
Think hatke – Jiyo datke
Teacher: 1 se 10 tak count kar ke batao…
Chota Santa: 1, 2, 3,4,5,7,8,9,10.
Teacher: 6 kaha hai.? . . . . . Santa: aaj subah T.V pe news me bata raha tha: ‘Ek bus durghatana me 6 ki maut ho gai…!!’
Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam Both tell the Same Answer . . . . . We Tried Our Best Can’t Say Anything Right Now!
2 well dressed ENGINEERS went to an expensive restaurant, ordered 2 drinks then got sandwiches from their.. own briefcases & proceeded to eat them.
WAITRESS: Sorry, sirs, but you cannot eat your OWN food here! Its against the rules here.
The engineer EXCHANGED sandwiches & continued their meals.. Only engineers can easily find solution… proud 2 b a engineer
Different age groups:
1st to 3rd class: Hey I studied everything for exam.
4th to 6th class: Hey That question was very hard so i leave only that question.
7th to 10th class: Hey Read only important questions.
11th class: I think 4 chapters are enough 2 get pass.
12th class: Kal exam kaun sa hai yaar ??
And in college: Saalo bataa to dete aaj exam hai, main toh pen bhi nahi laya..!!
College ke piche nadi mein Principle doob raha tha… Pappu Ne Dekha aur zooor zooor se chillate hue bhaaga..
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kal chhutti hai.. kal chhutti hai..
India is nation and Dadar is station, wha wha India is nation and& dadar is station, Do not fall in love, First complete your Education..!!
Ek bar engineering ke sabhi Professores ko ek plane mein bithaya gaya..
Fir announce kiya gaya ki “YE PLANE APKE STUDENTS NE BNAYA HAI”
Sab profesrs utar gaye… Par principal baithe rahe
Logo ne pucha: Aapko Darr nahi lgta?
Principle: Muje apne studnts par pura bharosa hai.
Ye start hi nahi hoga!!
Lines by School boy…
Love is when i walk to other side of classroom to sharp my pencil, Just to See her..
N then realize that, . . . . . Im holding a pen..!!
Edison Had Rightly Said:
A Fool Can Ask More Questions, Than A Wise Can Answer..
Now We Know.. . . . . . . . . Why All Of Us ..Are Speechless During The Exam Viva.
Teacher: Gaali kya hai? Student: Krodh ke smay mukh se nikle ashudh shabdon ka samuh Jinke uchcharan ke paschat Vyakti ke hriday Ko ShantiKa anubhv hota hai.
89% of teachers are suffering from throat cancer problem by teaching students.. So plz BUNK the classes as much as possible & save our TEACHERS. **HAPPY TEACHERS DAY**
Science Teacher: Bachcho zinda rahne ke liye kya zaruri hai? Student: itna bhi nahi pata mam?
Zinda rehne ke liye teri qasam.. ek mulaqat zaruri hai sanam.
Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai? Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
Teacher: Kya matlab?
Golu: Ji wo CUSTOMER CARE EXCUTIVE hai.
Teacher: How can we get some clean water? Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
Teacher:-"Batao A Ke Baad Kya Aata Hai?? ! ! ! ! ! Santa Kafi Der Sochne Ke Baad BoLa..." A Kya BoLti Tu ".
Teacher: “Mein Tumhari Jaan Nikaal Dungi” Ishe English Mein Batao......... Haryanvi Student: Tahne English Chhor Manney Hath Tho Laa K Dekh..
Govt school ke bachhe kisi ko ghaseet kar school le ja rahe the, Ye dekh kar 1 Aadmi bola: Jane do Beta, Ye Khud School aa jayega... Bachhe: Ye bachha nahi master ji hai.
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